Friday, June 29, 2012

Know Your Walrus - Week 3 - Religion

June 26, 2012 - This week the "Know Your Walrus" project focuses on religion.  It's nice that I'm getting most of the thorny subjects out of the way quickly.  I know this too can be a really divisive topic so I'd again like to state up front that these are simply my opinions.  I don't know that I'm right, I'm not trying to change anyone's mind or challenge any beliefs. As I said last week, feel free to comment or disagree but please keep it civil.

If you read last week's piece on death, I'll bet you can see where this one is going from a mile away. The simple answer is that I don't believe in anything.  That may be intellectually lazy but it is the truth.  If guess if I had really strong convictions regarding the topic, I'd pick a side.  I don't see it like that though.  For some reason the cosmos has not seen fit to bestow upon me the gift of faith.  I don't necessarily think that I'm an atheist.  I just don't think that there is any form of a higher power or an afterlife.  I don't think there is a greater power watching over things here on Earth (except maybe Predator drones and spy satellites).  I just don't understand how there could be one "right" religion and that all of the other ones are wrong.  I also don't understand how no matter how good of a person you are or how many good deeds to do that if you don't believe X, Y, and Z you are going to go to some form of hell.  That just doesn't seem right to me, but I guess that's why I'm not a deity.

All of that being said, I was raised Catholic and am very thankful for that.  I believe that my upbringing really helped me tune my moral compass and ingrained in me a sense of right and wrong.  For as long as I can remember I've tried to live my life by treating people the way I'd like to be treated and I attribute that to my parents and my upbringing.  I don't know at what point it was that I stopped believing in God.  I do remember the first time that I was genuinely conflicted about my faith.  I vividly recall that when I was in eighth grade that I didn't want to participate in sacrament of confirmation.  It wasn't out of a sense of rebellion or disrespect as a matter of fact it was quite the opposite. It was my understanding that confirmation is when you as an adult stand up and reaffirm the beliefs that you were baptized under.  I knew in my heart that I was not 100% sure of the beliefs and teachings; therefore, it seemed to me that being confirmed but not believing was grossly disrespectful to those who do believe. Wouldn't lying about it be worse than waiting until you were ready? 

Catholicism is the only religion with which I have any true experience.  I send my daughter to a Catholic school because I want her exposed to the same teachings as I was in the hope that she will learn the basis of some of my better personality traits, but I want her to make up her own mind.  I can't presume to tell her what to believe, but I want her to be able to draw her own conclusions and follow her heart (and receive and exemplary education in the process).  


Even though I can't honestly say that I'm a believer; I still sometimes attend Catholic mass.  That may seem hypocritical, but I go because I find it comforting.  The nice thing about the mass is that you can walk into a Catholic church anywhere and it's going to be the same. There's something to be said for the ritual of the Catholic mass.  It gives me some time to quietly reflect and have a moment of peace.  For whatever the reason, going to mass gives me a feeling of calm that I don't get anywhere else.

I guess the point is, I just don't know.  I can't be shown evidence that god exists; conversely, I can't be shown evidence that god doesn't exist.  I'm certainly not anti-religion.  While it's true that religion has caused a lot of grief over the ages; it is also responsible for countless acts of charity and kindness.  How does one oppose organizations that perform so much good in the world?  As for me, I'm just going to continue to be the best person I can be. I'm going to treat others the way I want to be treated and I'm going to try to make the most of the time I have here because it is the only time I've got.

Tuesday, June 19, 2012

Know Your Walrus - Week 2 - Topic: Death



June 17, 2012 - Know Your Walrus - Week 2 - Topic: Death


As you may or may not have noticed, I've renamed the blog project "Know Your Walrus."    I think the new title more accurately reflects what I'm trying to accomplish.  This week I'll be addressing my beliefs on the touchy subject of death.  I thought this was going to be easy, but it isn't.  It's a topic that I've talked about before but I don't think that I have dedicated a whole post to it.  It's going to be difficult to keep it on point and not stray off onto other topics, but we'll see what happens. 


Let me preface this post by saying that my thoughts on death are my own. I fully respect other beliefs and schools of thought.  It's a subject that evokes many strong emotions and one that I'm a tad concerned to be writing about. Feel free to comment or disagree, I just ask that you be respectful about it and maintain a civil discourse. Your beliefs are yours and mine are mine. Lets keep the discussion gracious and agree that we're not going to change each other's minds.


Death: "The Dirt Nap" "Check Out" "Worm Food" "Pushing Up Daises" "Bought the Pine Condo" "Cash In" "Kick The Bucket" "Bought The Farm." They all pretty much mean the same thing. Your corporeal vessel has ceased all biological functioning which sustains a living organism. It's a very dry and clinical definition. There's not much to it. That is my belief regarding death, it is simply the cessation of life.  The body will decompose, nourish the soil, which will feed the vegetation, which animals will consume.  It's just the last stop in the circle of life.


I don't believe that I have a soul.  I don't believe that there is some part of my consciousness that is going to continue on after my body ceases to be.  I don't believe in an afterlife.  My legacy will be determined by the lives that I touched and the mark that I made on them.  I hope that I've led a good life and set a good example for others.  I've tried to live my life by treating other people the way that I would like to be treated.  I haven't always succeeded and at times have failed miserably.  I think those failures are what help you grow and mature as a person.  Hopefully after behaving selfishly you come out on the other side as a more thoughtful person; someone who is more cognizant of the needs of others.  I've tried to bestow those values on my child.  It think that is important for her to come to her own conclusions regardless of whether or not she agrees with me. As she becomes an adult I think it's essential to her development that she come to her own conclusions.


I'd like to think that the circle of friends and family that I have around me is a testament to my living right and doing the "right thing" for the sake of doing the "right thing." I'm not trying to be cliche' but I firmly believe that you reap what you sew; therefore, manners are their own reward.


I've had a great 41 years (and hope to have a few more).  For the most part, I am regret free. I'm content with where I am and ok with the turn of events that brought me to where I am today.  Sometimes you draw the short straw and have to check out early, but one thing is for certain: All of us will eventually succumb to the reaper.


Next week I'll delve into an easier topic.....religion.

Tuesday, June 12, 2012

Know Your Walrus - Week 1 - Topic: 41 Facts

June 12, 2012 - So as I mentioned last week, I'd be starting a blog project that Laela recommended to me. This is week one.  My assignment is this:  

Your favorite picture of yourself and one interesting fact for every year you’ve been alive.  

I couldn't narrow it down to one picture so I've got one from my childhood and one from adulthood.


Childhood: This photo was taken in 1983 on South Bass Island in Lake Erie.  It's probably the biggest fish I've ever caught.  Look at that shit eating grin on my face.  I was stoked.  I caught it right off of the dock in the background.



Adulthood:  So the above photo is Miranda and me at a Steak and Shake on our way to Cedar Point to celebrate Miranda's 12th birthday in 2008.  I think it's really representative of the relationship that we have.


And now on to the facts.  I'm not sure if it's supposed to be facts about me but that's the way I'm interpreting it.  I attempted to keep this about me as much as possible, but there were a few years that I couldn't come up with anything specific about me so you get random internet generated fact.

1971 - I was born in June. Face wasn't put together quite right, but the docs did a damned fine job of prettying it up for you to enjoy. Didn't get a dog.


1972 - My future old lady got bornded, spent first birthday in hospital getting prettied up. Didn't get a dog.


1973 - Transmission Control Protocol/Internet Protocol (TCP/IP) is designed (you wouldn't be reading this without it) America's first space station, Skylab is launched. Didn't get a dog


1974 - Got a a sister....Didn't get a dog.


1975 - The Altair home computer kit allows consumers to build and program their own personal computers. Didn't get a dog.


1976 - United States of America's Bicentennial celebration. Didn't get a dog.


1977 - I started first grade at St. Clare, Star Wars was released. Didn't get a dog.


1978 - Transferred from St. Clare school to St. Bartholomew. Didn't get a dog.


1979 - My family moves to a new house and neighborhood. I miss Halloween because of the doctors had to  pretty me up even more. Didn't get a dog.


1980 - The Empire Strikes back was released. Didn't get a dog.


1981 - Atari 2600 for Christmas!! Didn't get a dog.


1982 - Pac Man released for the Atari. Didn't get a dog.


1983 - Return of the Jedi was released. Didn't get a dog.


1984 - Apple introduces the user-friendly Macintosh personal computer.  Didn't get a dog.


1985 - My family moved from Cincinnati, OH to Cape Coral, FL. My freshman year of high school in the fall. Didn't get a dog.


1986 - Discovered punk rock music and went to my first out of town concert, the Circle Jerks in Tampa.  I got my very first job making $2/hr straightening up a children's clothing store for 1.5 hours a day. Didn't get a dog.


1987 - Got my first car (a maroon1983 Datsun 310) and drivers license.  Got to see and meet my favorite band the Descendents in Tampa on my 16th birthday. Didn't get a dog.


1988 - Totalled my car after rear ending a friend's car....vowed never to drive again. Didn't get a dog.


1989 - Graduated high school. Didn't get a dog.


1990 - Skipped a college class for the first time to go skateboarding. Broke leg which would in turn result in me not being able to join the army....changed the course of my life. Didn't get a dog.


1991 - This was the year I moved to Columbus. Five months later I'd meet and begin courtship of Laela. Didn't get a dog.


1992 - Asked Laela to marry me on the anniversary of our first date...she said yes. Didn't get a dog.


1993 - Beanie Babies are introduced! Didn't get a dog.


1994 - Laela and I tied the knot after three years of dating. Didn't get a dog.


1995 - Laela and I bought our first home, a condo in north Columbus. I graduated from Columbus State and I started my first computer job as a technician for Incredible Universe. Didn't get a dog.


1996 - Miranda was born in August. Didn't get a dog.


1997 -Mike Tyson Bites Evander Holyfield's ear during a match and is suspended from boxing. Didn't get a dog.


1998 - Google is founded. Didn't get a dog.


1999 - George Lucas begins ruining the Star Wars Franchise with Jar Jar Binks and by releasing Episode I: The Phantom Menace. Didn't get a dog.


2000 - Y2K bug turns out to be a yawnfest. Didn't get a dog.


2001 - Apple releases the first iPod. Didn't get a dog.


2002 - Miranda picks up skateboarding as a pass time.  I in turn pick skateboarding back up after a few years absence. This would culminate with me meeting the men who would become my closest friends. Didn't get a dog.


2003 - Laela and I bought our current home, we GOT A DOG Indy, and I started what would by my final job as a network consultant with the Ohio Department of Job and Family services.


2004 -SpaceShipOne becomes the first privately-funded spaceplane to achieve spaceflight.


2005 - I take a man-cation with my buddies in Las Vegas, NV.  I rent a scooter while I'm there and this infects me with two-wheeled mania.


2006 - I buy my first motorcycle a 1983 Yamaha XV500 "Virago."  Laela lands her dream job as an associate children's librarian with Worthington Libraries.


2007 - The Final Harry Potter book is published Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows


2008 - The proton beam is circulated for the first time in the Large Hadron Collider, the world's largest and highest-energy particle accelerator.


2009 - Trained for and ran the Columbus Marathon.


2010 - I was diagnosed with incurable stage IV lung cancer and given six to eighteen months to live. Took the vacation of a lifetime with my family and began my quest to ride a motorcycle in all 48 contiguous United States. (Too many things to mention this year...consult past blog postings if interested)


2011 - Finished riding my motorcycle in all 48 states. Miranda begins high school.


2012 - Still flipping the bird to the 1st 2010 fact
 
Edit: June 16, 2012 - I changed the title this morning to "Know Your Walrus - Week x" because I thought it sounded better than "Getting to Know Me." That just invoked the song from The King and I

Sunday, June 3, 2012

25 Week Blog Project

So speedwalrus.blogspot.com has become kind of stale. I'm not updating it that often and when I do I'm only writing when there is a significant change in my health.  Since I'm no longer going to receive chemotherapy it's just going to be a gradual downhill slide and that's kind of a bummer.  I'll still update when things change but no one want to read "My cough got worse today." until...it doesn't.  

A few folks have asked me what my plans are travel wise.  To them I can only say: Not much. The past two years have been fantastic for me and travel; however, it's not really practical or safe for me to be gallivanting around the nation solo any longer. The key word there is solo. The quickness with which fatigue can set in and my susceptibility to pneumonia makes the situation unsafe and causes those close to me an undue amount of concern.  If I can find someone to go somewhere with me it might be a different story, but that'll be at the discretion of my travel coordinator.  Any further trips that I may make will most likely be limited in scope to the Buckeye state and not leaving for more than an overnight trip. The map to the left is a 200 mile radius from Columbus and I think I'll most likely stay within that.

Laela found a great project for me that'll keep the blog rolling and hopefully a little more interesting rather than watching it wither and die on the vine.  It'll also  be a great way to get a little more insight about me, what makes me tick, how and why I think like I do.  If you're not careful you might learn something too.  Without further ado I present blog project 2012, it's a lot like those Facebook "notes about you" games but I hope it's a little more interesting with that.  It's supposed to be a 25 day project, but I don't think one day is long enough to think about some of the topics and then write about them.  I'm going to try to do one a week for the next 25 weeks and publish on Mondays; although, I'm not going to publish first one until 06/12/2012. They might just be a paragraph or they might be five pages.  I never know how my ramblings go.  If you've got an idea for an item to add to the list, shoot it to me on twitter @speedwalrus or send me an email: speed.walrus (at) gmail dot com.  I hope you find it enjoyable.

week 1 - your favorite picture of yourself and one interesting fact for every year you’ve been alive
week 2 - your thoughts on death
week 3 - your thoughts on religion
week 4 - your most significant childhood memory
week 5 - discuss your feelings on the word “love” and the way it’s used in today
week 6 - your all time favorite (non-Star Wars) movie
week 7- talk about your idol and how they influence you
week 8 - ten things you’d like to say to ten different people, without using names
week 9 - your favorite blog
week 10 - a picture of your favorite relative
week 11 - your biggest fear
week 12 - a picture of the place where you were born
week 13 - discuss your first kiss
week 14 - your thoughts on drugs and alcohol
week 15 - your celebrity crush
week 16 - ten things that make you smile and a picture of yourself smiling
week 17 - discuss your greatest fear and your greatest dream
week 18 - a picture of your best friend
week 19 - a picture of yourself and someone you don’t actually like
week 20 - talk about where you go/went to high school
week 21 - a picture of your first boyfriend/girlfriend
week 22 - a time you felt like ending your own life
week 23 - your biggest regret
week 24 - a picture of you when you were younger
week 25 - a picture of your all time favorite band.