It's the beginning of September and I'm starting to settle into some kind of schedule now. Vacations are over. Autumn is nigh. School is back in session. Laela is working. Me? I'm at home and beginning the second cycle of my treatment. I think I'm starting to know what to expect out of it and can kind of plan my weeks accordingly.
rou·tine [roo-teen] –noun
1.a customary or regular course of procedure.
2.commonplace tasks, chores, or duties as must be done regularly or at specified intervals; typical or everyday activity: the routine of an office.
3.regular, unvarying, habitual, unimaginative, or rote procedure.
4.an unvarying and constantly repeated formula, as of speech or action; convenient or predictable response
One of the hardest things about dealing with my new routine of the sitting around the house is the sense of aimlessness. When having a good day, it is really odd not having someplace to go, something to do, or people that are relying on you. One would think that I'd have all of this free time for personal enrichment and reflection, but I find myself increasingly being lured to distraction by television and more insidiously...the Internet. I'm trying to read more books which is somewhat gratifying, but it too seems kind of aimless. I guess I need to put together a task list of things I need to take care of around the house and commit to doing a certain number of them a day. It's not just little things around the house that need to be taken care of. It's also long term items for the family's well being, piece of mind, and comfort. There are many things that I could be taking care of to make things easier on Laela. She does so much and now that I'm the "house husband" it's the least I can do. Hopefully it will bestow upon me that sense of purpose that I'm seeking.
On the treatment front, my doctor visit on Tuesday August 31 was very upbeat (Monday's scheduling SNAFU aside). The symptoms caused by my illness are better and I tolerated the first cycle of treatment very well. My oncologist was shocked that I walked a half-marathon on Sunday. Nothing makes me feel better than accomplishing something that people think that I can't do. We've got a plan of action and I'll be getting a CT scan on my chest before my next cycle begins to see if there is any shrinkage in the tumors. Crossing my fingers and hoping for the best. The bad news is that I've put on nine pounds in three weeks. I really need to stop throwing caution to the wind with my diet or a heart attack is going to get me before the cancer does. I'm not very far from flirting with my all time highest weight. That kills me after all of that work that I did to lose it and keep it off.
As expected, Thursday afternoon/evening was rough. I started the day off feeling a little down because my mustache was continuing to fall out in clumps. I decided to take matters into my own hands and remove it myself. I figured that I'd rather do that than have it slowly taken away. It was definitely one of those defining moments. My reaction after the deed was done surprised me. I didn't think I'd take it that badly. After all, it's only hair right? At any rate, to combat the melancholy that was starting to set in, I decided to get my endorphins pumping by getting out exercising. I rode my bicycle 21 miles and was in a much better place between my ears by the time I got finished. Thursday evening, the fatigue and ache started to set in and I essentially spent the rest of the evening on the couch. Miranda and I watched "Top Gun" on Netflix. It was nice to have a little escape.
Friday morning, I slept in until about 11:00am. I was still physically feeling run down, but managed to get up and go out to lunch. I'm feeling better as the day progresses but for the most part, today will be a day of rest. With a busy Labor Day weekend ahead of me, I'm hoping that I'll feel better when I wake up tomorrow.
